Why don't programmers like nature?
There's too many bugs.
Why did the programmer's wife leave him?
He didn't know how to commit.
A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks...
'Can I join you?'
Why was the JavaScript developer sad?
He didn't know how to null his feelings.
A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer.
Bartender says, "here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!"
Why did the programmer always carry a pencil?
They preferred to write in C#.
Why do Java programmers wear glasses?
Because they don't C#.
Why did the programmer go to art school?
He wanted to learn how to code outside the box.
A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep.
A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn’t.