How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None that's a hardware problem
Why did the programmer go to art school?
He wanted to learn how to code outside the box.
Why dot net developers don't wear glasses?
Because they see sharp.
Why do programmers prefer dark chocolate?
Because it's bitter like their code.
How do you generate a random string?
Put a Windows user in front of Vim and tell them to exit.
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program
the rest of them will write Perl
Why do Java programmers wear glasses?
Because they don't C#.
What is the most used language in programming?
Profanity.
Why did the programmer always carry a pencil?
They preferred to write in C#.
An IPv6 packet is walking out of the house.
He goes nowhere.