Why do C# and Java developers keep breaking their keyboards?
Because they use a strongly typed language.
Why dot net developers don't wear glasses?
Because they see sharp.
Where did the API go to eat?
To the RESTaurant.
Why was the font always tired?
It was always bold.
How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None that's a hardware problem
A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer.
Bartender says, "here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!"
Why did the programmer always carry a pencil?
They preferred to write in C#.
What’s the object-oriented way to become wealthy?
Inheritance.
Why did the developer quit his job?
Because he didn't get arrays.
What do you call a computer mouse that swears a lot?
A cursor!