A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep.
A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn’t.
How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None that's a hardware problem
What’s the object-oriented way to become wealthy?
Inheritance.
Why did the designer break up with their font?
Because it wasn't their type.
Why did the programmer quit his job?
Because he didn't get arrays.
Why do programmers prefer dark chocolate?
Because it's bitter like their code.
What's the best thing about a Boolean?
Even if you're wrong, you're only off by a bit.
Why don't programmers like nature?
There's too many bugs.
How do you generate a random string?
Put a Windows user in front of Vim and tell them to exit.
Why did the programmer quit their job?
They didn't get arrays.