How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None that's a hardware problem
Why did the programmer's wife leave him?
He didn't know how to commit.
Where did the API go to eat?
To the RESTaurant.
What do you call a computer mouse that swears a lot?
A cursor!
There are 10 types of people in this world...
Those who understand binary and those who don't
How do you check if a webpage is HTML5?
Try it out on Internet Explorer
Why was the designer always cold?
Because they always used too much ice-olation.
Why do C# and Java developers keep breaking their keyboards?
Because they use a strongly typed language.
Why would a guitarist become a good programmer?
He's adept at riffing in C#.
Knock-knock.
A race condition. Who is there?