What did the Java code say to the C code?
You've got no class.
How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None that's a hardware problem
A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks...
'Can I join you?'
Why do Java programmers wear glasses?
Because they don't C#.
Knock-knock.
A race condition. Who is there?
How do you comfort a designer?
You give them some space... between the elements.
How do you check if a webpage is HTML5?
Try it out on Internet Explorer
Why did the programmer always carry a pencil?
They preferred to write in C#.
What did the router say to the doctor?
It hurts when IP.