Why do Java programmers wear glasses?
Because they don't C#.
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
Why dot net developers don't wear glasses?
Because they see sharp.
How do you check if a webpage is HTML5?
Try it out on Internet Explorer
A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks...
'Can I join you?'
Why did the private classes break up?
Because they never saw each other.
Why don't programmers like nature?
There's too many bugs.
How do you generate a random string?
Put a Windows user in front of Vim and tell them to exit.
How do you comfort a designer?
You give them some space... between the elements.
What do you call a computer mouse that swears a lot?
A cursor!