How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None that's a hardware problem
I was gonna tell you a joke about UDP...
...but you might not get it.
Why did the designer break up with their font?
Because it wasn't their type.
Why did the developer go broke buying Bitcoin?
He kept calling it bytecoin and didn't get any.
What is the most used language in programming?
Profanity.
Why would a guitarist become a good programmer?
He's adept at riffing in C#.
Why did the programmer quit his job?
Because he didn't get arrays.
A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep.
A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn’t.
Why did the private classes break up?
Because they never saw each other.
Why do C# and Java developers keep breaking their keyboards?
Because they use a strongly typed language.